Why co-sleeping really does mean no sleeping!

So there is this hilarious video going around called "Why Co-Sleeping is No-Sleeping." Have a look below and it will definitely make you giggle!

Before Finn was born I was one of those pregnant ladies who said, "I'm never letting my baby sleep in our bed!" I was adamant. I had heard all the stories from parents who could never get their child out of their bed and I flat out refused to become one,

And then my baby was born.

As I have said previously, Finn refused to sleep in his bassinet for a very long time. This made me feel like I was failing as mother because everything said that my baby should go straight to sleep when being put down. Cue a baby who fell fast asleep on me, then as soon as he was in his crib woke up and screamed. Pick up, fast asleep. Put down, scream. So I accidentally became a co-sleeping mum at times. And I really enjoyed it. Waking up to him is one of the fondest memories I will have of Finn as a newborn.

Eventually, Finn became a lot better at sleeping in his bassinet, and was moved to a cot when he was three months old because with every movement he made his crib rock and woke himself up. Since moving to the cot he has rarely come into our bed because he falls asleep again after his night feed, and normally snoozes until 6.30 - 7ish. Except for the other night. He decided, after waking up at 4.15 for a feed, that he did not want to go to sleep. Cue crying baby, exhausted mother. So I grabbed him and put him in our bed.

BIG MISTAKE.

In the few minutes it took him to fall asleep, he managed to:

• pull my hair
• eat the blanket
• kick me
• pull my partners nose
• stick his finger up my partners nose
• scratch me
• roll over
• hold my hand and eventually close his eyes

Cute little newborn making gorgeous noises no more!

His new thing is to wake from his morning nap after 45 minutes, then be put into bed with me and have a cuddle and sleep for another 90 or so minutes. It looks like this:

And these are the moments that I will treasure for the rest of my life.

Everyone is having babies!

So, when I started this blog I wanted to try and write everyday to make sure I kept on top of it. However, my super popular social life has taken off! Okay, not really, but I have been out TWICE this without my child. Once with the boyf, and the other with my lovely girlfriends that I went to university with.

It is the latter outing that made me think of the amount of pregnancies I have been encountering. On this occasion, two of five were pregnant (one due any day now), and two of us already have a kid (including the one who is pregnant). I know of at least one work colleague who is currently pregnant, my stepson's mum is having number three on Monday, and tonight I was super excited to find out that a person I am very close to is pregnant. All of a sudden, ovaries are exploding and producing beautiful babies! It is insane!

I'm not going to lie - I like to think that I started this all! I read an article the other day that was about the likelihood of getting pregnant if you're friends are, and apparently you are more likely to! How cool is that? And, on reflection, this was what happened to me. My cousin has a son four months older than mine, and I have a lot of Facebook friends with children a few months either side of Finn. The water gets contaminated, and obviously makes all ovulating women super fertile, and creates super strong sperm!

And the point of this blog? Wrap it up boys and girls, because if you know me then the likelihood of being fertilised has been turned up from impossible to highly likely!

My boy is eating food!

Excitement central in this household today. My boy had his first solids! Yes, he is only four months old which is a little early by standards these day, but I went to a talk around solids yesterday and he is showing all the signs that he is ready.
He:

• creepily watches me eat (seriously, he follows the fork from my plate to my mouth, normally salivating at the same time...)
• tries to pull food out of our hands - this resulted in Finn accidentally eating a small amount of combination fried rice when my partner wasn't paying attention. It makes me very proud!
• he is always wanting more after having a feed
• his head is that of a strong man, always up and looking around

So, I steamed up some kumara (sweet potato) and pureed it into oblivion. And this was the result:

He loved it! The third photo shows the shock that we actually allowed to keep it in his mouth! He made such a mess, smooshing it everywhere - I found kumara all over him! Oh, and how 21st century are we - his Dad was on Skype watching him the whole time, so he didn't miss out on any of it! We are so lucky to live in a time where this is possible.

I totally recommend the Phil and Teds Poppy Highchair as well! It is so easy to strap them in, and super easy to clean. It wasn't expensive either, I got it for just over $100 on special. An awesome part of is that, when bubs is no longer in a highchair, you can convert it into a chair!

Not related to my boy eating, but I am so excited for tonight! Alex and I are going out for dinner BY OURSELVES for the first time since Finn was born! And we are actually going somewhere nice, so I can get dressed up and drink some fancy wine! There will be more about this later!

Birth in all its true glory

Giving birth. The main concern of the majority of pregnancies. How the heck am I going to push a baby "out of that"?! Well, believe it or not people, it is possible! I know, I've been there.

Throughout my pregnancy I had my fair share of anxiety surrounding giving birth. As I watched my belly grow bigger and bigger, this anxiety also grew bigger and bigger. When discussing my birth plan with my midwife, it became clear to her that I was pretty easy:

"Whatever happens on the day!"

I hear the inward groans of many of you. But what about the natural, drug free homebirth in the middle of your lounge with your doula and spiritual healer? Well, I realise that that works for some of you, and I congratulate you in every way for having such an organic situation for your bundle of joy to arrive into. I, on the other hand, was completely content with a pain free labour in a lovely sterile hospital where there are drugs on tap. It was the idea of being in pain that I was really scared of, and I wanted the option of an epidural there. Deep down, I was really hoping for a c-section. In hindsight, I am very glad this did not happen, because six weeks of recovery just really doesn't do it for me!

In the end, the epidural was necessary for my own sanity. My waters had broken had 5am on Sunday, it was now 9pm on Monday, and I was absolutely exhausted. Although I was induced at 12pm on Monday, I had had no sleep and was starting to descend into a panicked mess. Therefore, the epidural was administered at around 10.30, I had one hour to enjoy it before my thighs started screaming and I was ready to get this thing outta me!

29 minutes of pushing later, we had a baby. It was now the wee hours of Tuesday, 43 hours after my labour had begun, and it was all worth it. About 15 minutes in, I started crying and "gave up", but luckily I got over this momentary madness and followed through to the end.

Let me just say, you feel a lot lighter after pushing out 3.665kgs (8lbs 1oz) of baby outta ya!

So, my opinion on the actual process of giving birth? It bloody hurts. Imagine your uterus being twisted in half, and you will get a fraction of the idea. However, it is worth every second of that pain when you see your beautiful baby looking into your eyes for the first time. So go on, give it a go :-)

The trouble with sleep...

Ah, sleep. The number one topic on all parents mind. I can guarantee that whenever somebody new meets my bundle of joy, I will get the questions, "How's his sleeping?" Not that I have an issue with this at all because I am excited for the day that I can say, "Oh, he sleeps from 7 til 7, no problem!" Note - this has not yet happened!

Finn asleep in his hospital cot. This was a very rare experience.

When I was pregnant, all my friends who are mums told me, "Start banking that sleep!" and I, foolishly, smiled and nodded. You see, I knew there was going to be sleep deprivation. Everybody knows this. However, I can honestly say that I was in no way prepared for the true reality of this. For all of you non-mothers, imagine your normal sleep. Then, pretend that every three hours you get woken up by a car alarm that goes on for at least an hour. It finally turns off, and then you have the slow slog of trying to get back to sleep. And then it begins again.

So, here are three photos of my darling boy asleep. Asleep on Daddy, asleep on me and asleep in his swing.

"But," I here you ask, "where is the photo of him asleep in his cute little bassinet?"

Well, my dear friends, there are no newborn photos of him asleep in his bassinet. And why? Because he simply refused to sleep in it, unless he was super exhausted from a night of feeding and crying and then he might drop off for a couple of hours. Maybe.

Heard of the fourth trimester? Those first 12 weeks Finn just wanted to be close to me or my partner. And why wouldn't he? He just spend the last 41 (yes, 41+2!!!) weeks in the comfort of my womb (isn't that an awful word?!), so why would he suddenly want to be apart? But, expect to hear this:

"If you let that baby sleep on you/in the swing/on the rug/snuggled up next to you on your boob then how do you expect him to sleep in his cot?"

Well, I will tell you this - my boy slept in all of the above places more than in his bassinet, and he sleeps fine in his cot now. He just wanted to be close to his mama, and I wanted to be close to him.

Don't stress about your baby's sleep in the beginning. As long as they are sleeping, be happy. This is the advice that my midwife gave me, and I chose to follow it. Yes, after 12 weeks I slowly transitioned Finn into more of a routine, and it is working fabulously. However, I wish I had spent less time in the beginning stressing about sleep, and more about being close to my bub. Maybe if I had just let him sleep next to me more, I would have had more sleep myself, and not gone a wee bit crazy from sleep deprivation.

I am still incredibly sleep deprived. Today I napped twice. Twice! Once at 8am during his first nap, and the second when Alex got home from work and I passed out on the couch, drool and all. And I am STILL TIRED.

A typical night for Finn is down to be at 7, wake up anytime between 1.30-4 (okay sleeping until 4 has happened twice but it was miraculous both times and I choose to reflect on those beautiful times with a smile on my face), and then back up anytime between 6-7. At that time, he comes into my bed and we have snuggles, he normally chats away to me and I hover in that awful sleepy/awake phase. Luckily, having boobs works in my favour and sometimes he will fall asleep again on my boob.

So, what is the point of this? Sleep is a precious, precious things that should be savoured forever. I sometimes dream that I have had a whole night of sleep and then I wake up and it's 2.30 and screams are happening in the room next door. Enjoy it. Love it. And, when your baby comes along, prepare to spend every second of your day hoping for more of it.

I am preparing for one time, the first photo will be him asleep at 7pm and the second being him awake at 7am. 

Dreams are free, right?!

Being the perfect housewife

The title lies. I am the opposite of the perfect housewife, much to my dear partner's disgust. Okay, that is an exaggeration, although in a heated argument he did admit to me that he would appreciate it if I did a little more around the place.

So why is it so hard to be this "perfect housewife"? Does this even exist? I am starting to believe that it is a mythical creature, dreamed up by our grandmothers to make us modern folk feel guilty.

Let me show you a typical day for me:

• Wake up, play with baby in bed and pray that he will fall asleep next to me so that I can get some extra sleep. Note - this never happens.
• Put baby on floor, make coffee, entertain baby until he starts yawning.
• Baby goes to sleep, again I pray but this time it is that he will sleep for longer than 45 minutes. Note - this never happens. During this sleep I try to have a shower and make breakfast. Breakfast is far too often a few spoonfuls of peanut butter.
• Baby wakes up, he eats, we play, he gets tired and I put him back to bed. Rarely, he will sleep longer for this sleep. Rarely is the key word here.
• During this sleep I might try to vacuum or do some other menial chore. This is often the time I take the washing off the line, and add it to the pile that desperately needs to be ironed and folded but never will be.
• Baby wakes up, he eats, we play, he gets tired and I put him back to bed (is anybody else seeing some sort of pattern emerging?) This is quite a good sleep, because if he wakes up early I lie him down on my bed, feed him and we both fall asleep. Yes, I do realise that this is a good time to be doing housework and/or making dinner
• We wake up, the better half comes home, asks what's for dinner and it is then I am reminded that I was meant to go to the supermarket and there is a large possibility we will be feasting on toast. Again.

Do you know what? I look at this and I don't even care. You will see that I play with my boy a lot. Why? Because soon I will be going back to work three days a week, and the playtime with him will decrease. My main mission at the moment is to get him to roll over before I start again, because he is so close and it will kill me inside if I miss this.

Anyway, what is the point of this post? Housework is overrated and invest in a good toaster and lots of decent spreads.

The problems with feeding my baby...

As I have said in an earlier post, my boy has never been an issue to feed. He has had a great latch since day dot, and is still going hard at 4 months old. In fact, he has put himself onto a schedule, feeding as soon as he wakes up, then he has a play, nap, and then the cycle repeats itself. This is very different to the first 12 weeks in which he was literally attached to my boob every hour when the sun was up, and about every four when the sun was down.

The problem that I have is how people view feeding your baby. Let me tell you new mothers one thing: nothing you do will be good enough for anyone else. If you choose to breastfeed you need to keep a blanket over you little one's head so that, if a nip slip occurs, there is no chance of offending anybody. However, if you choose to formula feed your baby you will have judgmental eyes burning holes in the back of your head because formula is poison, and by doing this you are automatically dropping their IQ by at least 50 points.

My opinion? The best way to feed your baby is to FEED YOUR BABY. It doesn't matter how you do it, or why you choose one way or the other, as long as your baby is FED then there really shouldn't be a problem. Unfortunately, not everybody takes my point of view on this. There is one particular page on Facebook (that I will not name) that I really need to stop following. This lady is a lactation consultant, and insists that she has no real problem with people who formula feed, epseically if they have had a "hard journey". How do I really see her page? Well, it is spread with posters on how giving your baby formula will lead to SIDS, less of a connection with your baby, and basically makes you a bad mother. Her page really makes me angry, especially because I know people who have had horrendous experiences with breastfeeding which has resulted in giving their babies formula.

Why am I ranting? The other day I had my first experience with somebody giving me "a look". I was out watching polo with my mum and niece, and my darling man woke up and automatically expected boob. I had forgotten to bring a blanket, it was really hot, and I had a screaming baby. So what did I do? Pop him on without even thinking about it. Something to note - my baby has a head in the 91st percentile and I am definitely lacking in the chest department, so you literally cannot see ANYTHING that could be deemed offensive. And this woman looked at me, looked at her male friends, and proceeded to try her best to look anywhere but at me. I mean, c'mon lady! It definitely made mum and I laugh, and my niece who kept repeating, "Wow Allie, Finn is sooooo thirsty!"

Lets stop the prejudice people, and focus on the important thing - having healthy, happy babies with full tummies!

Expectations vs Reality

"She walks down the road, hair blowing in the wind, looking fresh because her newborn baby sleeps the recommended 18-20 hours a day. Her baby boy is fast asleep, strapped to her front in his carrier, looking so peaceful it could make you cry. The dog walks calmly next to her, unfazed by the new addition to the family. This new woman has easily transitioned into her new role as a mother."

I can hear all of you mothers out there laughing at me, but that was actually what I pictured motherhood to be. Me, with my baby strapped to my chest, finding time to go for walks with the dog and looking amazing. Don't worry, this picture was shattered very quickly. A lot of us go through our pregnancy knowing that our lives are going to change and that it is going to be hard, but I don' think we can really comprehend how difficult raising a child really is. I thought I would compile a list of my expectations versus my reality, and hopefully some of you are feeling the same!

Expectation

My baby will latch on easily and breastfeeding will be a natural, beautiful thing.

Reality

I will be honest, my breastfeeding journey has been relatively easy compared to a lot of people. Finn latched on pretty easily, however, my poor nipples were not ready for the next few weeks. Cracked, dry, sore - we had all of it! Thankfully it did pass, but for awhile there I considered whether or not it was worth it.

Expectation

Before I go anywhere, I will pump out bottles and bottles of milk quickly and with ease.

Reality

My boobs refuse to pump more than 50mls at a time. And even that can take at least half an hour. I have used both manual and electric breast pumps, milked myself, had a hot shower before, drunk litres of water, put hot flannels on - you name it, I've done it. This has meant that, when going somewhere that I'm not going to be able to breastfeed (normally somewhere involving wine), Finn has had bottles of formula. And I have no real issue with that.

Expectation

I will definitely get sleep in the first few nights because babies sleep so much!

Reality 

Finn cluster fed from 10pm - 5am for the first five nights. He would fall asleep, I would put him in his bassinet, he would wake up, scream, I would put him back on my boob. And repeat. The first time he slept for four hours over night I cried with happiness. Exhaustion is an evil thing.

Expectation

I will put my baby in the front pack and he will love it and sleep on me and it will all look so beautiful

Reality

Success! Oh, wait. This is one of approximately four times Finn went in this thing without screaming, kicking, and trying to suffocate himself in my boobs. And the idea of sleeping in it - all I can do is laugh. The silver lining is he does enjoy facing forward in it now that he's older. So much so the screaming only occurs when taking him out.

Expectation

My cat and dog will love the new addition

Reality

I leave you with three words: cat piss everywhere.

Expectation
After 9 months of no wine I won't want to drink anymore.

Reality
I can never give up wine. And now two glasses gives me a hangover.

Expectation

I will see my baby boy, my heart will swell, and 47 hours of labour will be worth it.

Reality

I saw my baby boy, my heart swelled, and 47 hours of labour was worth it.

Lets give this a go...

Hello cyber world! I have decided to start yet another blog about a tired mum who is trying to juggle a career and being a pinterest perfect mother to a beautiful baby boy. The difference? I am not here to give ANY parenting advice. At all. Why is that? Because I have nothing to give. Seriously.

So lets start this off with a little bit about how this all began...

One crazy day of packing up to shift house, I made the realisation that I was incredibly tired (more so than usual) and that I had not seen a period yet. So, I made my way down to the pharmacy and grabbed a "test". This was my thought process - "There is no way that I could be pregnant, but I better just check....under no circumstance could I be pregnant, smart girls like me don't just get pregnant...oooh I like that nail polish...is there any point buying this...geez why do I always over react...I'm only 24, how the hell would I deal with a baby..."

The outcome? I will let the pictures talk.

My beautiful boy Finn was born on September 2nd 2014. He is the most beautiful human being I have ever seen.

So, a new addition to my ready made family. Ready made? I hear you ask. It sure is. My partner, Alex, has an 8 year old boy called Dominic who I have spent half my life with since he was 5 years old. Although he drives me insane, I love him like he is my own. We now have our own family of four.

So, why this blog? Well, in two weeks I go back to work part time, and need something to keep me sane. I already have extreme mummy guilt about putting my then five month old baby in day care three days a week, but it is something we can't avoid. I love my job as a teacher, and was offered a role that I can't turn down. However, so close to it starting and with a four month old who is still breastfed and refuses to sleep through the night, I am beginning to wonder what the heck I have signed up for. So this, my dear friends, is the way that I am going to keep myself sane.

So, even if no one reads this, at least I know that I can have my thoughts out there, and can keep my conscience clean.