Being the perfect housewife

The title lies. I am the opposite of the perfect housewife, much to my dear partner's disgust. Okay, that is an exaggeration, although in a heated argument he did admit to me that he would appreciate it if I did a little more around the place.

So why is it so hard to be this "perfect housewife"? Does this even exist? I am starting to believe that it is a mythical creature, dreamed up by our grandmothers to make us modern folk feel guilty.

Let me show you a typical day for me:

• Wake up, play with baby in bed and pray that he will fall asleep next to me so that I can get some extra sleep. Note - this never happens.
• Put baby on floor, make coffee, entertain baby until he starts yawning.
• Baby goes to sleep, again I pray but this time it is that he will sleep for longer than 45 minutes. Note - this never happens. During this sleep I try to have a shower and make breakfast. Breakfast is far too often a few spoonfuls of peanut butter.
• Baby wakes up, he eats, we play, he gets tired and I put him back to bed. Rarely, he will sleep longer for this sleep. Rarely is the key word here.
• During this sleep I might try to vacuum or do some other menial chore. This is often the time I take the washing off the line, and add it to the pile that desperately needs to be ironed and folded but never will be.
• Baby wakes up, he eats, we play, he gets tired and I put him back to bed (is anybody else seeing some sort of pattern emerging?) This is quite a good sleep, because if he wakes up early I lie him down on my bed, feed him and we both fall asleep. Yes, I do realise that this is a good time to be doing housework and/or making dinner
• We wake up, the better half comes home, asks what's for dinner and it is then I am reminded that I was meant to go to the supermarket and there is a large possibility we will be feasting on toast. Again.

Do you know what? I look at this and I don't even care. You will see that I play with my boy a lot. Why? Because soon I will be going back to work three days a week, and the playtime with him will decrease. My main mission at the moment is to get him to roll over before I start again, because he is so close and it will kill me inside if I miss this.

Anyway, what is the point of this post? Housework is overrated and invest in a good toaster and lots of decent spreads.