Expectations vs Reality

"She walks down the road, hair blowing in the wind, looking fresh because her newborn baby sleeps the recommended 18-20 hours a day. Her baby boy is fast asleep, strapped to her front in his carrier, looking so peaceful it could make you cry. The dog walks calmly next to her, unfazed by the new addition to the family. This new woman has easily transitioned into her new role as a mother."

I can hear all of you mothers out there laughing at me, but that was actually what I pictured motherhood to be. Me, with my baby strapped to my chest, finding time to go for walks with the dog and looking amazing. Don't worry, this picture was shattered very quickly. A lot of us go through our pregnancy knowing that our lives are going to change and that it is going to be hard, but I don' think we can really comprehend how difficult raising a child really is. I thought I would compile a list of my expectations versus my reality, and hopefully some of you are feeling the same!

Expectation

My baby will latch on easily and breastfeeding will be a natural, beautiful thing.

Reality

I will be honest, my breastfeeding journey has been relatively easy compared to a lot of people. Finn latched on pretty easily, however, my poor nipples were not ready for the next few weeks. Cracked, dry, sore - we had all of it! Thankfully it did pass, but for awhile there I considered whether or not it was worth it.

Expectation

Before I go anywhere, I will pump out bottles and bottles of milk quickly and with ease.

Reality

My boobs refuse to pump more than 50mls at a time. And even that can take at least half an hour. I have used both manual and electric breast pumps, milked myself, had a hot shower before, drunk litres of water, put hot flannels on - you name it, I've done it. This has meant that, when going somewhere that I'm not going to be able to breastfeed (normally somewhere involving wine), Finn has had bottles of formula. And I have no real issue with that.

Expectation

I will definitely get sleep in the first few nights because babies sleep so much!

Reality 

Finn cluster fed from 10pm - 5am for the first five nights. He would fall asleep, I would put him in his bassinet, he would wake up, scream, I would put him back on my boob. And repeat. The first time he slept for four hours over night I cried with happiness. Exhaustion is an evil thing.

Expectation

I will put my baby in the front pack and he will love it and sleep on me and it will all look so beautiful

Reality

Success! Oh, wait. This is one of approximately four times Finn went in this thing without screaming, kicking, and trying to suffocate himself in my boobs. And the idea of sleeping in it - all I can do is laugh. The silver lining is he does enjoy facing forward in it now that he's older. So much so the screaming only occurs when taking him out.

Expectation

My cat and dog will love the new addition

Reality

I leave you with three words: cat piss everywhere.

Expectation
After 9 months of no wine I won't want to drink anymore.

Reality
I can never give up wine. And now two glasses gives me a hangover.

Expectation

I will see my baby boy, my heart will swell, and 47 hours of labour will be worth it.

Reality

I saw my baby boy, my heart swelled, and 47 hours of labour was worth it.