Babies and Exercise

I would like to take you back in time to 2013 - I had no baby, a full time job, and was the fittest I have ever been in my life.

Athleticism does not come naturally to me, I was always okay at sport, never really that fit and was incredibly lazy. I have struggled with my weight since I was about 7 years old, a cheeseburger goes straight to my thighs. Eating is something that has always consumed my life. I am always thinking about it - what I am going to eat next, should I or shouldn't I eat that piece of pizza, what to buy when I go to the supermarket.

However, in 2013 I was FIT. Like proper fit. A typical week consisted of 4-5 runs (lengths varied from 5 - 13kms at a time), two sessions of boot camp and a game of indoor netball. I cut out all crap from my diet, did a 21 Day Sugar Detox and was the slimmest I have ever been. The icing on the cake for me was completing the Auckland Half Marathon in 1hr 59mins, squeezing in just under my goal of two hours.

I honestly believe that my body being in such an optimal position was how I got pregnant without even trying to. During the early stages of my pregnancy I kept trying to run, although exhaustion got the better of me in the end. Boot camp became too much as the instructor wasn't great at giving alternative exercises. So, throughout my pregnancy, I did a lot of walking the dog and managed to stay rather fit. While I was overdue, I was walking up hills every morning, trying to get this baby out (it did not good - he was nine days late!). On reflection, keeping up with exercise was probably how I bounced back so well from my labour, and was out and about really quickly.

Unfortunately, I have found it really hard to get back into exercise since my little man came along. Although I have lost more of the weight, my tummy has that little pooch to it that just won't go away. My commitment to healthy eating has gone out the door due to being too lazy to spend time making it. Poor Sam the dog has felt it as well, and his days of being long and lean appear to be behind him.

BUT NOT ANYMORE!

Today, ladies and gentlemen, I went for a RUN. In fact two runs! My partner and big boy did a fun run, and I was meeting them at the end. I parked my car and started going for walk when the skies opened up on us. First stop was a cafe to hide, and enjoy a coffee and a muffin. We (Finn and myself) then had to make our way to the finish line, which resulted in me running very fast in the pouring rain. Boys finished, we celebrated, then we got home and I had the serious guilt trip going on! This resulted in me hauling my chubby pup out on to the footpath for 2.63kms of running. Yes, I understand that this small, but we did it very fast, and I did have to drag poor pup up the a lot of hills. So I am going to be proud of that.

Watch this space people, before you know it I will be doing regular hour long runs again! Woohoo!

Baby Sales

So, today was the day. I day I have been waiting for for quite a while now. A day that I always mark in my calendar, and do the proper preparations for.

The Farmers One Day 50% off all children and infant clothing.

Now, for those of you who don't know, Farmers is a small scale department store chain that is found in most New Zealand malls. It is one of those stores that you would never buy anything from full price. They often have smaller sales where clothes are 20-30% off, but it isn't very common that they have 50% off.

I am telling you people, it is carnage. Crazy mums pushing people out of the way with their prams, sending kids around aisles to grab things and many small, tired children being dragged around the store for a few hours, trying on hundreds of different things.

Normally I am so prepared for this day. Baby bag packed, a list of things that are needed for both Finn and Dom, and my man's eftpos card (so he can pay for everything).

However, my plans were ruined today. There are many reasons for this:

1. I had completely forgotten the sale was on today. Rookie mistake.
2. Finn fell asleep in the car on the way home from work so I left him sleeping in there and took his bag out of the car.
3. I didn't give myself enough time to write a list. I just went for it.

And, well, it didn't end how I had hoped.

Pulled into the mall carpark, managed to get one undercover and by the door - all is going well so far! Start hooking up the front pack (you never take prams to these sales, they get in the way of manic grabbing) and notice a strange smell wafting out of my passengers butt.

Uh oh, this is a total time waster but needs to be dealt to immediately. Go to grab the baby bag and...it isn't there. I have left the house nappiless and wipeless. Amateur.

The big decision. Do I drive back home and grab them (a good 8 minute drive) or do I pretend I haven't smelt it and chuck him in the front pack. I am sorry to say that I went with the latter.

Walk into the store, all I can smell is my poor babe and his shitty bum. Decide this will be quick. But, oh no, there are so many options! And I need to find a rain jacket for the big boy! I scramble through, picking up, putting down, all the while people are turning up their noses, looking around for the foul smell. I copy them, looking round, pretending to be oblivious to the fact that it is in fact my little stinker.

$112 later, I walk out. Not my best shop, I must say, but definitely some great bargains in there.

Love me a good Farmers sale!

Get to the car and realise that I now have to deal with this smell on the way home and it is bucketing down. This means windows up. Lord save me.

Why I love my neighbour!

One of the problems with being a mum is that constant fear of being judged. Everybody has an opinion on parenting and, quite often, your opinion is not the same and the person doing the judging.

I have to admit, I am one of those mum's who is very laid back. I try not to let things stress me out, and you could never accuse me of "smothering" my baby. In fact, I encourage people other than myself to hold and play with Finn, and it has been like that since day one.

Which leads me to my neighbour. She is AWESOME. And I barely even talk to her. I just listen.

She has two girls, one of which is around four and the other around seven, and they sound like a handful. You often hear them screaming at one another, calling each other names, and then the tears. But, what I love, is how my neighbour handles them.

Literally five minutes ago, the smaller of the two girls was throwing the largest wobbly I have heard in a long time. She was on the trampoline with her sister, and, when asked to get off, she SCREAMED. It was earth shattering, ear piercing, all that jazz! So, what did mum do? Instead of getting in an argument with her, she got on the tramp, chucked her over her shoulder kicking and screaming, and walked her into the house.

Now that, my friends, is my kind of parenting!

My Blended Family

When I talk about my family, it is often received by others as one that they cannot understand. I think it must be because they have never experienced a situation like mine, so therefore cannot relate.

Let me tell you a little bit about my household.

Alex (male) - 31 years, photographer, originally from England, then the Kapiti Coast (NZ) and Auckland for the past 13 years or so.

Alex (female) - also known as Allie to avoid confusion with others/ourselves, 25 years, primary teacher/SAHM, born in Hong Kong to New Zealand/English parents, lived in Auckland for the past 22 years.

Dominic - 8 years, son of Alex (male) with a previous partner, lives with us 50% of the time.

Finn - nearly 7 months, child of both Alex's, half brother to Dominic.

So, why would people think this is strange? Well, Alex and I have been together since I was 21, and Dominic was 5. Not many 21 year olds would  be that keen to take on a 5 year old! However, I did, and have lived happily with him 50% of the time for the past three years. With a "stepchild" (he refers to me as his stepmum even though I'm not married to his Dad) obviously comes the complication of an ex-girlfriend  being heavily involved in our life. I manage my very best to keep this a positive relationship - we often have a cup of tea during drop off/pick off, when her babies were born I went and visited with food (and she did the same for me), we send Snapchats to each other, and we both try and do what is best for Dom. Obviously, there are moments of tension between my partner and her, and I do my best to stay out of it. Sometimes it is really hard. In fact, nearly all of the time. But I let them deal with it.

There is also the other strain that people don't understand and realise. The strain of not having my partner to myself for so long. Wanting some time to go out in the weekend, and make plans but we couldn't because it was a "kid" weekend. This is harder now that we have Finn,  but in my pre-mummy life this was often an issue for me. And yes, there was definitely that niggly feeling of resentment every now and then. Don't get me wrong, I love my stepson and would have done anything for him, but there was often that hint of annoyance if his presence would impose on my plans!

Since becoming a mum myself, I have had a huge shift in my thinking. I now understand my partner's hurt at only have him half of the time. How he misses him constantly, and therefore wants to make the most of his time with him. And it makes me feel like a total bitch for the times I ever complained.

I also now understand that there is a reason why my stepson can be needy at times. He lives in two households, both of which have children under 16 months old. At his mum's house he has two brothers, both born within 14 months of each other, plus Finn thrown in the middle. That can't be easy for anyone, let alone an eight year old!

But, I am also lucky enough to have a stepson who loves his little brother more than anything in the world. He cuddles him when he's crying, gives him kisses constantly, and is the only person who can make Finn smile at any time of the day! And that to me is pretty bloody awesome!

Liebster Award

Woohoo so I was nominated for The Liebster Award for discovering new blogs!
This was from the blog Flab-Fit-Fab and you can check her out here...http://flabfitfab.blogspot.co.uk/

So part of this is answering some questions, so here we go...

1) Why did you start your blog?
To connect with other mums and hopefully show them that they are not alone out there!

2) What do you most enjoy cooking?
Ooooh this is a hard one because I really love cooking...I will go with the Smoked Fish Pie from the Chelsea Winter "At My Table" cookbook

3) What keeps you awake at night?
My baby not sleeping...actually, that is getting better so I would say my job. I do a lot of professional development with teachers and I find this quite daunting so am often thinking of ways to stay in the game!

4) If you could have one super power what would it be and why?
The ability to redo certain moments of  my life - I have a lot of regrets!

5) Who's the better villain Harley Quinn or Poison Ivy?
Poison Ivy - she owns it!

5) If you were invisible for the day what would you do?
Go and spy on what goes on in my nieces classroom - I worry about her!

6) Cat or dog?
Dog. Even though my one is rather useless...

7) Who's the most inspirational person you know and why?
An old colleague called Brendan Lee. I have never met anyone who cares about his students so much and works so hard to better their lives, while setting himself amazing goals.

8) Are you a morning person or night owl?
Morning person - I find it hard to stay awake late these days!

9) If you won the lottery what would you buy first?
Our own home!

10) What makes you smile?
Sounds so cheesy but going into my boy's room when he has just woken up from a sleep. He looks at me like I've been gone for months!

Now, because I am new to this whole blogging thing and don' follow too many blogs yet, I was hoping you could help me out and, if you read this, answer the questions! Then let me know the link to your blog so I can follow!

So, my questions are:

1. What is your favourite hideaway spot?

2. If you could try any extreme sport, what would it be and why?

3. On a child free weekend what would you do?

4. What TV show relates best to your life?

5. If you could visit any country in the world what would it be and why?

6. What quote sums up your personality?

7. Pizza or pasta?

8. A question you would ask the president/prime minister?

9. Favourite movie and why?

10. Aspirations for your blog?

Answer away amigos 😃

Why My Child Is Awesome

My boy - I am not going to lie to you people, he is actually awesome.

Why?

Well, first of all, look at this photo of him in his new PJ's...

He is delicious!

Second of all, on many occasions he actually makes my life easier. Today is an example.

As a teacher, you get paid pretty poorly, especially if you only work three days a week like myself. Money is definitely not flowing, and every day I kick myself for not saving while I was on a full time wage. That is why it is really awesome when I get asked to relieve. The money is good, the planning is done for you and, best of all, I can bring my little man along with me.

So today we trotted up to work, and from the beginning I knew it was going to be a good day. He smiled, cooed, giggled, drank his milk, ate his food, took two spectacular naps in his pushchair, and managed to impress every single staff member and child we came across.

And, because of that, we are allowed to come back.

Child of mine, you are awesome!

Can you think of a time your little one has really impressed you in front of other people? Feel free to comment away!

Water Baby!

Swimming lessons for babies - wow, what a fad right?! Squeezing your postpartum body into a pair of togs and singing songs with a bunch of other crazy mums. Sounds ridiculous!

Well, actually, it really isn't. In fact, I think it is one of the most sensible decisions I have made as a mother. There is nothing more amazing than seeing my little man kicking his feet, paddling with his hands, and smiling after diving under the water.

Over summer, you are constantly reading about children falling into the pool or getting caught in a rip and not making it out. I am not taking that risk with little guy!

Finn started swimming lessons at five months. Hilton Brown do free lessons for babies 3 - 6 months old, but there is a bit of a waiting list, hence the five month old start. The awesome thing is they actually go until they turn seven months old, so we have been at it for nearly two months!

It is amazing how far my man has gone in these two months. He reaches out for the side of the pool or out to a board, he closes his eyes and holds his breath when you, "Finn, ready, go!" and he is super chilled out after a submersion. These lessons are teaching him to not be afraid of the water, and know what to do when he falls in.

We often underestimate what our little babe's can do, but here is a video of my wee man with his daddy.

Yep, that is my little man kicking his legs on a board! At only six months old!

So, my advice to all of you is get your  babies enrolled in lessons as young as possible. Let them have a life long love of the water, without the worry of lack of confidence!

Baby Daddy!

Ever since having Finn, I have a whole new level of respect for single mothers. Raising a baby is such hard work, but having somebody there most of the time definitely takes the edge off.

I am really lucky in the fact that my other half is an amazing, hands on father. Little bug is his second son, and Dom is nearly nine. We work really hard to ensure that we have a close relationship with his mama, and I am lucky in the fact that her and I get on really well. It makes life easier for everybody.

So, how does a relationship change once you've had a baby?

Well, this is Alex and I when we first started dating, nearly four years ago...

We used to do really cute things like this...

And then we had a baby! And at first we put our relationship on the back burner to make time for bubs. But it became really clear really quickly that we needed to keep working on our relationship at the same time as caring for a newborn.

I can definitely understand why a lot of couples find it hard to survive when having a baby. Once the initial euphoria has died down, and the visitors halt, you find the time to be exhausted, to notice the washing hasn't been done for three weeks, and that all you have eaten for the past month has been takeaways. And this adds serious strain. Because I was breastfeeding and therefore the sole person feeding our baby, I resented it when Alex was sleeping at 3am. On the flip side, I was at home every day and Alex was at work, and he resented this.

It is all about compromise. And understanding that sometimes you will be tired and cranky and the idea of being nice to your man makes you spew. But be nice. Appreciate your partner in crime. Most of all, take lots of cute photos!

Cabin Fever

So five days straight of being at home with a sick baby is not great for me. I have been reluctant to take him out anywhere because he has been so unwell, and it has definitely started cooling down. Today, though, I had had enough. We were up nice and early walking the dog, and then I decided we needed to go and have a "mum and bub date".

Back in the day, the thought of going out and eating lunch by myself was rather daunting. I get pretty bored with my own company after awhile, and would normally scoff it all up and leave. However, now that I have my mini me, I am more than happy to sit down at a cafe for an hour or so and lap it up!

Unfortunately, I stumbled upon something that I have done my best to avoid.

Coffee groups.

Now, I know many of you disagree with my view on these, and make life long friends. However, I am a bit of a grumpy old bitch at the best of times, and have made no attempt to start one of these up, or join in with one.

Why? Because I really can't stand listening to other people go on about their babies. I do my best to not go on about Finn too much with my friends because I understand the absolute utter boredom it brings upon them. I save these tales for my other half, and the internet!

I ordered my lunch and coffee, and found a warm outside seat. From here, I was forced to eavesdrop on the conversation.

"My baby..."
"George can..."
"I would never...with my boy..."

Oh my goodness people! You are out talking to human beings that aren't under the age of one and all you can talk about are BABIES?! Why not discuss interesting things like politics, exercise and THINGS THAT DON'T RELATE TO YOUR CHILDREN?!

As you can imagine, I swiftly moved and played with Finn in the grassy area out the front. Yes, I prefer the company of snotty, coughing six month old over women that want to make a competition of baby rearing.

And this is why I don't do coffee groups. Ever.

As a side note, don't ever feed your kids shepherd pie. All they do is spit it out every where and end up smelling like mince. Gross.

That "Mum" Look

I have been off work for the past couple of days with little man due to the croup incident, and I have seen something happen to me that I am not proud of.

Because I knew nobody was coming over today, I chucked on my track pants and an old top, and tossed my hair up in a messy bun. I hadn't even given it two thoughts before I looked in a mirror and thought, "Oh my god".Yes, today I have been rocking your stereotypical, advert loving, self loathing "Mum" look. And oh my word, it is scary.

This is me today. But she is wearing nicer clothes.

I always wondered how mums could be this way - lose all pride in themselves, stop caring about how they look, decide that no matter what you wear your husband will never leave you - and, I am not going to lie, it disgusted me. Even in the early days of Finn, I would get up, do my face, brush my hair, and get on with the day. I take a lot of pride in the fact that I left the hospital wearing nice clothes and with make up on.

However, today I get the women who look like I do every day. The mum's who have babies that won't sleep, the mum's who have to do the school run with a toddler in tow, the mum's who are so exhausted that they are surviving on caffeine alone.

And I apologise. I am sorry for being a judgmental bitch. Rock your top buns with all the energy you can muster. Even if it isn't a lot.

Croup = Creepy Baby

So one of my earlier posts was about how awful croup is.
My sister gave me a hand today and managed to capture this amazing video!

NB He normally sounds like your typical baby!!!

The "Fun" of Solids

My little man has been on solids for a wee while now - about two months - including a period of about two weeks where he refused to have anything. We started early because he was showing all the signs, and I have recently become a baby food connoisseur. By this, I mean that I actually cook both meat and veges, and puree it up.

THERE ARE NOT MANY THINGS THAT ARE WORSE THAN PUREED FISH.

Vomit.

However, this post is more about the so called "fun" of feeding my wee man solids.

Scenario: Plunket Solids Talk.
Plunket Lady: "This is a really fun time for you with your baby, experimenting with different tastes and textures. This tends to not be so messy, and I promise you that you will really enjoy this bonding experience.

Not messy, you say?

Lady, you lied!

Do you have any idea how expensive stain remover is?! Have you forgotten what it is like to have orange kumara (sweet potato!) spat in your face?! Or what a raspberry full of food looks like?!

Honestly, I was useless at doing washing before solids started, and now I have just given up. The majority of Finn's clothes now have at least a hint of some kind of food - a bit of mashed in banana, Cruskit that has turned to concrete, a teeny bit of mince.

Fun? I challenge you to say that again!

Outta My Control...

So last night it became very clear to me that, quite often, things are out of our control and no matter what we do, we have to sit by and watch.

At about 9.30 last night, my little man woke up with a barking cough. It also became very clear to us that he was working really hard to get his breaths in. Sweat poured off him, but it was clammy and cold. Although not distressed, he was pale and wasn't grabbing at anything or wanting to play, and he was clinging on to my other half. If you know my boy, you know this is very out of character! So we got on the phone to Plunket, who then put us through to Healthline (at this point I was panicking). As soon as the lady heard Finn's cough and noisy breathing she called an ambulance. Yes, an ambulance. At this point it was taking every part of me to hold back tears. I can tell you now, you never realise how much you love your child until you think there might be something wrong. When the sirens got closer, the horrible thought of, "Those sirens are for my baby" crept into my mind and it was too much.

Before I knew it, bubs and me were sitting in the back of the ambulance en route to hospital. In the ambulance he got hooked up to a heart rate monitor and it became clear he was definitely fighting to get those breaths in. It was definitely the worst twenty minutes of my life.

By the time we got to the hospital, bubs was looking much better. His breathing was still up, but everything else seemed to have calmed down. He wasn't coughing as much, but his coughs were still sounding like an old smokers, and his breathing was still a little raspy.

Diagnosis - a pretty hefty case of croup. Cue a dose of steroids, an observation for three hours, and a pretty miserable baby.

A very tired Finn and his mama at 12.30 am!

It is very rare that my little boy will fall asleep on me anymore, but that was how he slept for most of last night and for his naps today. So bittersweet - I miss my baby cuddles,  but I don't want them if it means he is in pain.

As I said before, a lot of things are out of our control. And it is horrific. I have never been in an ambulance in my 25 years, and my poor boy had to experience one at six months old. But that is life, and I am lucky that it wasn't any worse. Too many of the other kids in the emergency department got sent off to Starship because their situations were too extreme to be dealt with at North Shore Hospital. We didn't even have a bed last night because it was full up - apparently that is a pretty typical night.

So, when things get out of your control, cuddle your baby, kiss your baby, and hopefully everything will be okay.

Why I really am useless....

So I promised myself that I would really throw everything into this blog to help keep me sane. Alas, I completely forgot about it. BUT I AM BACK. And I intend to stay back.

So, what has been happening in the six or so weeks that I wasn't writing? Well...

1) I started back at work part time. Love the work. Hate the mornings.
2) This coincided with my darling boy starting day care. I cried. He didn't. That was how that went.
3) My boy got BIG. Like really big. See below:

4) I met a level of exhaustion that I did not know was possible. Holy heck.

So, because talking about your own baby can bore people to no end (trust me, I know!), I am instead , going to enlighten you on my current path down the road of complete and utter mind numbing exhaustion.

At first, I honestly thought I was handling the whole part time working, part time stay at home mum thing so well. I managed to straighten my hair in the morning, have the baby fed and clothed, and be out the door by 7.30. However, things started changing. Very slowly, the hair got messier. The lipstick got muckier. The eyes got redder. The baby started wearing clothes that were not okay to be out in public. Caffeine became my best friend. And I got confused.

Why was this happening all of a sudden?

Why do people look at me like I am an alien from another planet?

Why can I smell my armpits?

And then it hit me. This is what a working mother starts out as. Learning to determine how much time you need to allocate, learning to know what is actually important and what can be ditched (hint - do not ditch showering!), and continuing to be a caring mum whilst stressing about what is going on at work.

So, we learnt to time manage. I say we, because you need to have your other half involved in this. And we created a routine. It works a bit like this:

• At home days - other half comes home from work and does bath and bedtime. If I haven't already sorted dinner then I do that while this is going on.
• At work days - I do pick up and drop off. Because I tend to be running a little early to beat traffic, Finn and I have a morning date at Robert Harris. I love this so much, especially because Finn tends to be happiest in the morning so I get lots of smiles and cuddles. When we get home, I get to play with him, and then one of us does bed and bath while the other does dinner. 
• Weekends - no routine at all. Oh, and apparently no sleep ins...

Of course, when I am at home with him I make the most of the time to puree up some veges and meat (most horrendous job ever), avoid doing the housework and do little activities with Finn.

It is hard when you realise you are not the "perfect" mother. My boy is hardly breastfed anymore (his choice) except for in the middle of the night when he refuses to get off, I have given him far too many fingers foods that probably aren't the best, my new dinner choices involve ones that I can blend up, and I have definitely shoved us both in front of the TV so I can catch up on shows. But it is important to realise that no mother is perfect. Yes, even the exclusively breastfeeding, organic giving, co-sleeping earth mothers that have committed all of their time to their little babes. They manage to screw it up as well sometimes.

It is the small things that count. Like cuddling your baby, even when they are attempting to squirm away from you and then scream in your face. Sitting outside every now and then to have lunch. Going down to the park and letting your six month old in the swing, even when a group of judgey mums are whispering about it.

All that matters is you love your child, even if they are the cause of your legs going unshaven for one week. In the middle of summer.

So now I add to my list:

5) I realised there is no way to be the perfect mum. And I am totally okay with that.